12.21.23
13 Therapist Tips to Become a Time Management Pro
Your friends will finally stop giving you a fake time to be ready.
If you’re someone who always seems to be at least five minutes late, tends to leave things till the last minute, is never not busy, or just generally sucks at estimating how much time it’ll take you to get things done, then you, my friend, might struggle with time management. And that’s not a personal failing or a permanent fixture of your personality! It’s just part of being a person in a society where a lot is expected of you and there are only so many hours in a day.
Most of us think of time management as being productive at work, but it’s actually about making time for things in your life that you have to do and want to do, including work and non-work stuff, according to professor and licensed therapist Risa Williams, LMFT, author of The Ultimate Time Management Toolkit. So working on your time management skills isn’t meant to turn you into a “productivity robot,” she says. It’s about helping you feel like your time is your own and using that freedom to add more moments of joy into your life.
It’s worth noting that some mental health conditions can make time management especially hard, says Williams. For instance, people with ADHD often struggle with executive functioning (think organization, planning, following through with tasks, etc.) and time blindness—both of which can make it hard to manage your time. And feeling depressed can also put you on the time management struggle bus because you don’t have energy or motivation to start tasks, says Williams. But, really, anyone can struggle with this, and anyone can get better at owning their time.
So, here are some therapist-approved tips for prioritizing your to-do lists and making room for what you have to and want to do without burning yourself out.
1. Write your to-do list on a Post-It.
Have you ever panicked because your Monday-morning list of things to get done is the length of a CVS receipt? To avoid having so much on your plate that you don’t know where to start, stick to writing the essentials on a Post-It, says Williams. Whether you’re writing out a to-do list for your day or your week, there’s only so much room to write, she explains, forcing you to self-edit a bit. Plus, having less to cross off helps you feel like you actually accomplished things, which makes you feel way better than staring at all that you couldn’t get to, she says.
2. Put those non-urgent tasks that are haunting you on a separate list.
So what about stuff you can’t stop thinking about that doesn’t have a set due date? Like starting a blog or finally going all Marie Kondo on your closets or building the floating shelf that’s been sitting in a box for weeks? You want to get them done but other things always come up, so they tend to just get added to the next to-do list over and over again until you die (kidding…kind of).
Punt these bad boys over to a different list (this one can be longer than a Post-It), which Williams calls an “odds and ends list” in her book. She suggests trying to cross off at least one of these items every week, but you might even knock off a few things on a particularly slow week. Another rule from her book is to keep this list as manageable as possible: Only add to your odds and ends list once you’ve crossed something off.
3. Use time containers.
To help you get a better handle on your day or week, group things together into what Williams calls “time containers” in the book. “It's really hard to fully focus on things when you're jumping around and everything feels equally important,” she explains. “When we understand how long we need to focus on something and the type of thing we need to focus on, we can use our energy more effectively.”
Block off your time containers on your phone’s calendar or use a physical one—whatever works, Williams says. Maybe you have a time container between 7 a.m. and 9 a.m. dedicated to things like self-care or your passion project, then another time container where you focus on specific work tasks. You might have a designated time container for social stuff so you don’t let other commitments get in the way of seeing your people. You could even dedicate a whole day to one big task and change it up other days that week, Williams suggests. Do whatever works for you.
4. Schedule around your energy highs and lows.
Sometimes you can’t get work done because your energy is fading…fast. So, it may be helpful for you to schedule your day around when you know you’ll have the brain power or body power to do tasks that will take the most out of you, says licensed psychotherapist Robin M. Johnson, PhD, LICSW.
Everyone’s different, so pay attention to when you usually breeze through certain things or when you spend 15 minutes reading the same damn sentence. For instance, if morning workouts tend to feel best for you, stop trying to make that post-work boxing class happen. And if your brain doesn’t fully turn on until after noon, maybe plan to work on that big presentation after lunch.
5. Also spread out your hard tasks.
Obviously, depending on what you have going on, you might not have full control over when you need to do the hard stuff—and maybe everything seems hard—but when you can, spreading those things out and alternating between high-stress, medium-stress, and low-stress tasks can help you avoid burnout.
When you’re planning your day, list things you have to do and rate how demanding they are: low, medium, or high. This is what Williams’ book calls the “task intensity meter.” Then, reorganize them based on what you have the energy for, she suggests. Maybe dropping off your kids at school is high-stress, so you follow that up with a more chill task like ordering your partner a birthday gift. Then, you check work emails which isn’t the most fun thing in the world but isn’t nearly as draining as the presentation you know you have to build after that. Be strategic!
6. Look at the fun tasks in your to-do list as a little treat.
To give yourself the motivation to do something you’re dreading, plan a fun or much easier task for after that thing, suggests Williams. You could reward yourself for making that doctor’s appointment you’ve been putting off by booking excursions for your next vacation or doing your daily yoga. Saving that stuff for last is what Williams cleverly calls “task desserts” in her book. Cute as hell, right?
7. Only multitask when it makes sense.
Sometimes it’s helpful to get things done at the same time so you can cross more than one to-do off your list. Other times it looks like half-assing two things. Instead, be strategic about what exactly you’re lumping together, says Dr. Johnson. It’s probably not a good idea to schedule an important call with your boss while you’re getting groceries. But maybe you can call back your best friend to hear how her date went while you’re picking out avocados! Sure, both calls can technically take the same amount of time and effort, but one probably requires a bit more brain power than the other.
8. Overestimate the time it’ll take you to do things.
You might be squeezing in a bunch of things back to back to back (...to back) to get them done, and when you do that and don’t get that stuff done, it can make you feel like you suck at being productive. Giving yourself more time may freak you out at first because you feel like you aren’t moving fast enough. However! Overestimating the time you need—even doubling it—can actually make you more confident in your time management skills, because you’ve just crushed your own deadline, Williams says.
Sure, sometimes deadlines are set by other people. If you feel comfortable doing so, try negotiating for a bit more time when it doesn’t seem realistic, says Williams.
9. But also give yourself legit time limits and stick to them.
Giving yourself more time to get things done is great, but if there’s no structure at all you might just end up unmotivated or easily distracted. A structured stop time also creates parameters so it doesn’t feel like you’ll be working forever, Williams says. You can try to work in 25-minute bursts before taking a short break—the Pomodoro technique—or you can work for the length of a 45-minute playlist filled with upbeat instrumental music (or whatever you’re into that isn’t distracting), she suggests.
10. Mentally prepare to do tasks you just can’t start.
We’ve all been there. You sit down to finally do a thing and your focus has left the building. Completely checked out. But one way to trick your brain into refocusing its attention is to try a 30-minute-or-less “brain warmup,” as Williams calls it in her book.
Think of it like a kickstart for your mind to be like, OK, it’s time to get going! What you’ll want to do is match the vibe of whatever task you’re trying to ease into with a similar warmup, says Williams. You could doodle or do something else creative before you paint your living room walls or you could read a chapter of a novel you like before you write an essay. Choose something that’s somewhat related to what you’re doing and even feels fun to get you in the focusing mood, she suggests.
11. Hide your phone.
Who among us hasn’t accidentally doomscrolled an hour away when they fully planned to cook dinner, go to the gym, or be asleep by a reasonable hour? If this sounds like you, try putting your phone in another room for however long you can, suggests Williams. (It's what she calls “phone timeouts” in her book.)
If that’s too hard for you, you can also try turning on Do Not Disturb or Airplane mode (and turning off the Wi-Fi) so that when you instinctively grab your phone you don’t get sucked in. One of Williams’ clients even had success with placing his phone on a red textbook. There’s something about that color that makes your brain go, STOP! Do NOT touch!
12. Celebrate getting stuff done.
Giving yourself words of encouragement whenever you do things throughout the day might just be the motivation you need to keep going. Williams says that if you never give yourself that pat on the back for being on time to brunch or doing something you need (or want!) to do, your brain is going to be like, Well what are we doing this for anyway? Your self-talk doesn’t have to be overly positive. It could be as simple as telling yourself, Yay! You’re done! so you actually feel done by the end of the day, Williams says.
13. Ask for help when you need it.
Part of time management is learning when to delegate things to other people—because you only have so many hours in the day. Plus, sometimes the expectations people place on us (or that we place on ourselves) are downright unrealistic. Maybe your colleague should actually take on a project because you’re fully booked this month and your manager isn’t seeing that. Maybe you can cut down on some chores.
One thing Dr. Johnson has been doing lately is getting help with stuff she needs to do at home. “I haven’t stepped inside a grocery store in a long time,” she says. “I order my groceries and household supplies online using delivery and curbside pickup services. It saves me a ton of time that I’m able to put back into other tasks and responsibilities.”
The way you ask for help may look different than the way your friend asks, but do what works for you so you don’t have to do it all. Outsourcing tasks isn’t a sign of weakness, Dr. Johnson says. It can make life—and managing your time—easier.
Wondermind does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Any information published on this website or by this brand is not intended as a replacement for medical advice. Always consult a qualified health or mental health professional with any questions or concerns about your mental health.
