12.14.23
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33 DMs Worth Sending When You’re Thinking About Somebody
Reaching out doesn’t have to be hard.
Oh, the “thinking of you!” text—a welcome surprise to receive and yet so easy to overthink as the sender. Will the other person find it weird? Will it only draw attention to the fact that it’s been forever since we’ve talked? What should I say? Will they even care?
It may feel like a silly thing to stress over, but it’s ridiculously common. “It’s hard to reach out,” says Mary Houston, LCSW, cofounder of The Cove Restorative Psychiatry & Wellness. “We get in our heads about the potential negative outcomes and what someone will think and then decide not to say anything at all.”
But you should! Tiny moments of connection can be key to maintaining relationships. Plus, you may make a real difference in someone’s day. Lots of people are more isolated than ever, says Houston, and little reminders from the people we care about can ease the burden. “If you have it in you to do it, you could be starting a lovely chain reaction,” says Houston. “Maybe the person you reach out to will be inspired to reach out to someone else.”
As for what to say, we’ve got some ideas for you. Whether you want to drop them into the nearest DM or use them as inspo to pen your own, here are three golden rules to keep in mind:
Add a personal touch. You can copy/paste these to start, but you don’t want them to feel like they’re getting a bad chain email. Adapt them to match your dynamic and vibe by swapping in details from your memories, your lives, and the relationship you share.
Keep it simple. To help curb overthinking, resist the urge to get hung up on word choice or editing. You don’t have to craft a Pulitzer-winning text here. Think of it as a postcard instead—just jot out a nice message and send it off into the world.
Know your why. Someone might be on your mind for a dozen reasons—maybe a meme made you think of them, or they’re in your thoughts because they’re going through a challenging time. Thinking about why you’re reaching out will help you zero in on a tone and message that feels right, whether it’s a silly DM or an earnest offer of support.
When it’s been a minute…
It’s tough to reach out after a long stretch of silence, no matter if you mutually drifted or one of you has been underwater. Here are a few ways to reconnect, from saying hi in passing to picking up where you left off.
- Hey you! Just realized it’s been ages since our last convo. What's new?
- Don’t think my radio silence means you aren’t in my thoughts. Life’s wild, but I can’t wait to catch up when it slows down a bit.
- It’s been way too long since I’ve said “hi.” So...hi!
- Ugh, I blinked and a million years passed since we talked. Sorry I’ve been such a ghost—can I make it up to you soon?
- I'm officially declaring the end of our unintentional silence. Hey, stranger!
- We’re overdue for some real quality time! Virtual or IRL, your call.
- Missing our lunch break calls ❤️ Maybe it’s time to revive that tradition?
- I’M ALIVE! Stuck in a funk and will reach out soon. Hope everything is OK on your end.
When you basically want to send a virtual hug…
Maybe you know someone needs a boost, or maybe you want to practice more gratitude in your relationships. Whatever the reason, it’s never not nice to receive a compliment.
- Hey, random thought: You're awesome. That's it. That's the text.
- Settling into my new place has really made me appreciate what an amazing neighbor you were. These new guys have big shoes to fill!
- FYI, the world is a better place with you in it.
- You ever randomly remember someone and think, Wow, I'm lucky to know them? Hi.
- I’m still on a high from how we crushed it last week. You carried the team!
- Fun fact: Karaoke night with you is my go-to happy place when I need a pick-me-up.
- In case no one’s told you lately, you’re legit one of the funniest people I know.
- Not to be super cheesy, but I’m really glad to have you in my life.
When you randomly think of them…
It’s basically an unofficial relationship rule: If something reminds you of someone—be it a stray memory, a weird-shaped cloud, or a song on the radio—you can use it as an excuse to say hi.
- Rewatching New Girl for the millionth time and you’re still the Nick to my Schmidt.
- Remember the time we pulled that all-nighter? After last night, I can confirm: It’s a lot less fun without you.
- Scrolling through old pictures and I can’t believe we’ve known each other for five years already 😭
- Just saw a dog that looks exactly like yours and thought, Wait, when was the last time I got puppy pics? Hint hint.
- Dreaming of our next vacation is the ONLY thing getting me through this meeting.
- Our anthem just came up on shuffle and I had to have a mini dance party. Hope your day is off to as strong a start as mine.
- Someone brought in homemade cookies today, and it transported me back to your baking phase. Ugh, I didn’t know how good I had it!!
- Attempted a craft project. Chaos ensued. Can I borrow some of your DIY skills?
- You came up in therapy today (in a good way, I promise)!
When you’re maybe a little worried about them…
Sometimes people are on our minds because we know they’re going through a tough time or have noticed small signs they might be struggling. Try touching base or checking in with one of these.
- Hey, you've been on my mind a lot lately. I hope you’re feeling better.
- Our last conversation stuck with me. Let me know if you need any more support, OK?
- Just realized I never asked how things went with your mom! I’m around if you wanna debrief.
- Doing OK over there? I haven’t heard from you in a hot sec.
- Pop quiz, are all those depression memes you’ve been posting: A) a relatable expression of your winter blues, or B) a cry for help? Just making sure.
- How’s it going? You mentioned how overwhelmed you were last time we caught up, so I hope things have slowed down ❤️
- Quick check-in: Are you surviving the chaos?
- I know things are tough. If you need someone to talk to or just listen, I'm here for you.
Wondermind does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Any information published on this website or by this brand is not intended as a replacement for medical advice. Always consult a qualified health or mental health professional with any questions or concerns about your mental health.
