19 Self-Help Books People Actually Swear By

“In her new book, author and podcaster Mel Robbins explains how to keep people’s drama and opinions from messing with your life. Robbins delves into how she learned to let others do what they’ve gotta do without trying to manage them. She also interviews mental health professionals about why this POV is so freeing.

I’m a self-proclaimed people pleaser and a clinically diagnosed anxious individual (generalized anxiety disorder, to be exact). When I can’t know everything about life’s circumstances—or do anything about them—I ruminate. This book taught me that I’m wasting tons of precious energy on what I can’t control. But, by reminding myself to just ‘let them,’ I can release the need to influence how others act and what they think of me.” —Sam Brodsky, Staff Writer at Wondermind

“This memoir follows an introvert who decides to act more extroverted for a year as she challenges herself to talk to strangers, travel alone, host a dinner party, and more. I read this book when I was a 20-something introvert living in a new city by myself. I felt isolated and afraid that I’d never actually experience life if I didn’t take some kind of move forward.

Since reading Sorry I’m Late, I Didn’t Want to Come, I’ve graduated from all the levels of improv at my local theater and I’ve made dozens of incredible friends by putting myself out there—as the author did. I’ve also never been more excited to try things, even if it means I fail at them. To leave you with a quote from the book, ‘I really like my comfort zone, but I also know I’ll be OK if I leap into the unknown or the scary for a little while.’” —Chanel V., 29

“There can be a lot of stigma around not drinking, which makes it even more difficult to drink less. That’s why this workbook, from journalist and sober-ish human Hilary Sheinbaum, features prompts and exercises that make cutting back on alcohol less daunting. It‘s full of tools to help you reflect on your relationship with alcohol, set goals for going dry, and document your journey.

And it works! Going Dry helped me feel more confident turning down a drink and limiting alcohol in general. For example, if I’m the only one not drinking with friends or coworkers, someone always asks me why. I used to get a drink just to avoid those awkward questions, but Going Dry empowered me to check those social pressures. With this book’s assistance, I’m doing Dry January again this year, and I might keep going after the month ends.” —Victoria N., 33

“Growing up, I was a perfectionist, which translated into a major fear of failure. But reading Mindset changed the way I thought about failure. The book, written by the psychologist and researcher who coined the growth mindset theory, taught me that I was only pushing myself within my comfort zone. In order to grow and succeed, I needed permission to fail and to learn from those failures. Instead of looking at life as a win-or-lose situation, I needed to see it as one where I could win or I could learn. Since reading Mindset, I have been much more inclined to say yes to opportunities that I may have dismissed. I owe a lot of my newfound courage to the book.” —Jamie K., 29

“Since the pandemic, the topic of self-care is mentioned frequently in sessions, and I love having this storehouse of self-care tips to recommend. With sharp wit, a deep understanding of the need to de-stress, and clear descriptions of over 200 self-care exercises, Borges’s book is several therapy sessions worth of information in one accessible package.” —Ryan Howes, PhD, a clinical psychologist based in Pasadena, CA

“Sarah Blondin is one the most loved/cherished meditation teachers on the internet. She wrote this book and it’s clear every single word came from her heart. I recommend the audiobook, as there is a calming and soothing presence she creates with her voice, and it adds to the poetic intelligence and nature of the text. This book will help an individual detach from the busyness of the day (typically accompanied by the related anxious thoughts) and center themselves in the body—more specifically in the heart space, where we give and receive love. The question, ‘What is self-love?’ has now gone viral. Well, Sarah answers this question in the most brilliant way. A pro tip is to listen to this text before bedtime.” —Nina Polyné, PsyD, a psychologist based in San Diego, CA

“If you’ve ever wondered, Why am I like this?, this book might have the answer. Maybe it’s obvious, but a lot of our default behaviors—like being passive, people pleasing, or avoiding the things we know we need to deal with—started as a childhood coping mechanism. In this book, an actual therapist shares her own story and the stories of some very relatable clients that will make you feel seen. She also includes journal prompts and thought exercises that can help you work through your own shit. I have SO many pages of this book dog-eared to come back to when I feel like I’m sliding back into old habits, and I recommend this one to all my friends dealing with family drama.” —Ashley Oerman, Deputy Editor at Wondermind 

“This book has changed my life. It gave me practical strategies for getting my obsessive worrying under control, explaining strategies that actually work. Dr. Leahy talks about ‘uncertainty training.’ He says that chronic worriers believe that we cannot stand uncertainty, and so we worry until we get certainty about something. But certainty cannot always be had, especially with the future. And so, learning to live with uncertainty and become comfortable with it is necessary. It’s uncomfortable at first, but it becomes easier over time, miraculously. And then you stop worrying because you are OK with not knowing.” —Jordan S., 41

“Hands down, this is one of the best books I’ve read in terms of creating better habits and kicking bad ones. The book goes into easily understandable neuroscience of how habits are created and offers very practical tips and solutions to incorporate new habits into your life. I also love the idea of just being ‘1% better every day.’ So accessible!” —Shauna M., 39

“What I love about this book as an unconventional self-help choice is that it’s a collection of letters Rilke really wrote to a younger poet, only you never see the full correspondence, just Rilke’s answers. This means, as a reader, I feel Rilke is speaking directly and personally to me. While we don’t see the letters to Rilke, we know they’re from a young man deciding between a career in the army and a career in literature. This same basic question—follow your creative heart or make the practical choice?—is one I continue to come back to in my own career as my priorities shift and there are fluctuations in the world around me. I return to this book of letters yearly because the questions and the answers feel evergreen to me.” —Julia S., 31

“This is an empowering and approachable book to help people change their relationships with their thoughts via a process based on acceptance and commitment therapy. This approach teaches people to separate themselves from their thoughts, become more aware of their difficult emotions, and make changes that feel manageable and sustainable.” —Jessica Stern, PhD, clinical psychologist at NYU Langone Health

“I read this book when I was having a difficult time adjusting to a new city. This book helped me realize that it was mostly my own thoughts that were stopping me from doing the things that would make it all better—making new friends, learning the language, and adopting new traditions. And it helped me get over myself so I could go out and do all of that! The world gets so much bigger once you shift the focus of your thoughts away from yourself and towards the people or things in your environment. Read this book if you’re looking for a dose of tough love.” —Margarita Bregolat, former Marketing and Coordinating Lead at Wondermind

“This is my most recommended self-help book. Many of my clients say they see their lives in the pages of this book, which gives practical guidance, empathy, and a way to find understanding and even compassion for the emotional limitations of their parents.” —Ryan Howes, PhD, a clinical psychologist based in Pasadena, CA

“This is one of those books I return to over and over again when I need a good pep talk. In a super accessible and engaging way, Gilbert points out all the fears, anxieties, and other roadblocks that tend to keep us from dreaming big and taking risks. It’s impossible to read a few chapters of this book and not come away feeling inspired and ready to create something awesome.” —Casey Gueren, VP of Content at Wondermind 

“This is great for anyone who wants to learn how to fully invest in their passion and make it a reality. It teaches you how to stop making excuses for not writing that book or starting that business. I learned how to prioritize my craft and balance it with my other life responsibilities, which, in turn, made me happier and more creative.” —Marisa Bramwell, former Senior Producer at Wondermind

“This is a fantastically eye-opening book that allows one to find peace and fulfillment in their life through practicing gratitude and intention every day. I took notes on almost every page! It’s well-written, and it has very easy ways to immediately apply what Jay Shetty talks about to your life. While the whole book is great, what I loved and what changed my life came right in the first chapter. A quote from Charles Horton Cooley that exploded my brain: ‘I am not what I think I am, and I am not what you think I am. I am what I think you think I am.’ That quote changed my perspective on how I show up in my life and opened me up for all the excellent nuggets Jay Shetty reveals throughout the rest of the book.” —Shauna M., 39

“This is an excellent workbook that walks readers through exercises to help them identify their values, learn analogies for understanding their thoughts, and track difficult emotions and experiences related to anxiety that may be holding them back.” —Jessica Stern, PhD, clinical psychologist at NYU Langone Health

“While actual therapy helped me find the source of my social anxiety, this book was super handy for dealing with the day-to-day symptoms as they popped up. There are tons of helpful tips and tools you can use to reframe negative thoughts telling you that you suck or everyone can see that you’re blushing hard. Also, just reading other people’s experiences made me feel less alone, which is another bonus since social anxiety thrives on you feeling like the most awkward human on the planet.” —Ashley Oerman, Deputy Editor at Wondermind 

“It’s been a few years since I read this book, but the stories have stuck with me ever since. Unlike other science-forward self-help books, The Brain That Changes Itself is easily digestible with minimal jargon and offers a number of insightful and thought-provoking stories that’ll have you questioning everything you think you know about the brain. This book helped me realize that the brain is so much more complex than I gave it credit for. We can rewire our brains (to a certain extent), and this gave me the motivation I needed to change the way I think about my own mental health.” —Marilyn La Jeunesse, former Newsletter Editor at Wondermind