01.30.25
Let’s Talk About Revenge Bedtime Procrastination
You’re fully aware sleep is good for you. And yet!
You know the feeling. It’s been a long day, and you’re exhausted. But instead of sleeping, you scroll. You organize your Pinterest boards. You shop online for light bulbs. You hit up your Netflix list. You’ve fully entered the revenge bedtime procrastination zone.
You're sure that you’ll regret staying up, but some part of you says, Fuck it, and you keep going. Next thing you know, you’ve watched two episodes since you first thought, Wait, I should go to bed. I’m exhausted. You need sleep, you want sleep, and yet you’re scrolling through stupid cat videos until 1 a.m.
It makes no logical sense why we’re like this, but here we are! If you can relate, we asked sleep experts and psychologists to explain why revenge bedtime procrastination happens and how to quit sabotaging your sleep.
What is revenge bedtime procrastination?
Revenge bedtime procrastination isn’t a legit sleep disorder, but it’s a very relatable phenomenon that went viral in 2020 after journalist Daphne K. Lee translated it from a Chinese expression describing the same concept, according to the BBC.
“It’s a way of pushing back against a busy schedule or lack of control over your time,” sleep psychologist Shelby Harris, PsyD, DBSM, explains.
Whether you’re conscious of it or not, revenge bedtime procrastination happens when you don’t make time for rest, relaxation, or fun during the day (hence the “revenge”), says behavioral sleep medicine specialist and licensed psychologist Sarah Silverman, PsyD. Then, without a chance to recoup all day, craving downtime outweighs getting to bed when you’re sleepy.
Psychologically speaking, it’s much easier to prioritize what feels good in the moment (TV) than what might happen the next day (being tired), explains Brad Wolgast, PhD, CBSM, DBSM, a licensed psychologist who’s board-certified in behavioral sleep medicine.
Revenge bedtime procrastination can also strike when you’re trying to avoid thinking about what horrors may persist tomorrow, notes Dr. Silverman. Sabotaging your slumber to do something fun can “slow down time and avoid the inevitable,” she explains.
How can I tell if I have revenge bedtime procrastination?
The biggest indicator that you’re a revenge bedtime procrastinator is that you recognize you’re very tired, but you’re still engaging in extracurricular activities, says Dr. Silverman. If this keeps happening on days when you’ve been swamped at work or doing things for other people, that’s another red flag.
To be clear though, revenge bedtime procrastination is different from being a night owl. If you’re a person who normally feels more alert and productive later in the day, staying up late to scroll is just a normal Tuesday. You can thank your circadian rhythm (aka your internal body clock) for that, Dr. Silverman explains.
Revenge bedtime procrastination isn’t the same as insomnia either. Insomnia is a sleep disorder that makes it hard to fall asleep or stay asleep at least three nights per week for three months or longer, per the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5-TR). That’s very different than keeping yourself awake to soak in “me time” a la revenge bedtime procrastination, explains Dr. Silverman.
How can I quit revenge bedtime procrastination?
The key to overcoming this nonsensical habit is to get out of your own damn way. It sounds easier said than done, but with a little motivation and a few hacks, you can totally conquer this struggle.
Your brain is craving some OOO time for a reason, so the answer isn’t to deny yourself TV, social media, video games, or whatever you want to do. Instead, find ways to integrate more fun downtime into your day. That can make the need less urgent at night, notes Dr. Harris.
Read in between meetings, call your friend before your next errand, or watch a show while you eat dinner. In a perfect world, you could also replace non-pressing things on your to-do list with personal time, notes Dr. Silverman. “When you create space for self-care during your day, you’re less likely to create space for revenge procrastination before bed.”
If you have to save your Netflix, Instagram, or FaceTime sessions for the evening hours, that’s OK (and understandable). In that case, using an alarm can help you remember your bedtime schedule, says Dr. Silverman. She recommends setting one for 30 minutes or an hour before you want to be asleep. That’s your cue to start winding down. If you’re prone to hitting snooze, set backup alarms for 15-minute intervals to really annoy yourself into prioritizing sleep.
Having a bedtime routine or ritual that feels like a treat can also help, says Dr. Silverman. You know, something you'll actually want to stop scrolling for. Maybe you change into the world’s most comfy PJs, drink tea, put on a podcast while you brush your teeth, or diffuse essential oils.
Of course, some of us can push off even the most relaxing bedtime routine for more TV time. That’s why planning something to look forward to in the morning, like a workout class or coffee run with a friend, can help, Dr. Silverman says. That can make you more excited to get to bed.
Gamifying your bedtime routine can work too. If you get to bed on time five days in a row, reward yourself with something nice, suggests Dr. Silverman. “It’s not just about repeating a routine. It’s about making your routine feel rewarding so that sleep becomes something your mind and body crave rather than resist,” she adds.
If none of this seems to topple the revenge goblin living in your head, you likely need to find your personal brand of motivation for prioritizing sleep, says Dr. Wolgast. Overcoming bedtime procrastination doesn’t happen just because you know it’s bad for you. It happens when you find the motivation to overcome it and maintain that motivation because you know it’s the best thing for you, he explains.
Maybe waking up to go for a walk in the morning is easier when you go to bed at 9 p.m. Or perhaps feeling more alert during the workday helps you accomplish tasks faster, which means you have a better chance of doing something fun before dinner. Then, when Netflix starts another episode, you remember your why, turn off the TV, and go brush your teeth with less mental pushback.
When all else fails, you can always see a sleep specialist if you feel like revenge bedtime procrastination is taking over your (night) life and impacting how you function on the day-to-day, notes Dr. Silverman. These experts can better assess what’s causing your revenge bedtime procrastination and pinpoint other sleep issues.
Wondermind does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Any information published on this website or by this brand is not intended as a replacement for medical advice. Always consult a qualified health or mental health professional with any questions or concerns about your mental health.
