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5 Things to Consider Before Quiet Quitting Your Job

If you hate it here, hear us out. ByRozalynn S. Frazier

Shutterstock / Wondermind

By now, you’ve definitely heard of quiet quitting. Maybe you saw the TikToks a while back, but it’s also possible you’ve witnessed quiet quitters out in the wild. Your colleague who doesn’t speak up in meetings much anymore, won’t pick up tasks outside their job description, or comes in later and leaves earlier than they used to—yeah, that’s textbook quiet quitting. Perhaps you’re considering a do-less kind of mindset shift at your job too.

Though it’s more of a cultural shorthand than psychological term, quiet quitting means meeting the minimum requirements at work rather than resigning, explains Marianna Strongin, PsyD, a clinical psychologist and Founder of StrongIn Therapy. 

But it’s not like aspiring quiet quitters are straight-up lazy and/or selfish. In her experience, Dr. Strongin says that quiet quitting often happens when people feel “invalidated, uninspired, and neglected in the workplace.”  

It makes sense: If you feel like your company doesn't appreciate you or inspire you, why would you feel motivated to keep up the effort? For most of us, our self-esteem is fueled by being seen and validated, says Dr. Strongin. So if we’re not getting that at work, our self-image can take a hit—along with our productivity and creativity, she adds. Those are things that are generally helpful when you need to get shit done.

This theory is especially relevant as companies continue to ask employees to do more with less, says Cicely Horsham-Brathwaite, PhD, a licensed psychologist, coach, and author of Self-Care Activities for Women. Without recognition or compensation in return, what’s the point of going above and beyond?

That’s why some experts see quiet quitting as a short-term solution to a bigger problem. When you do just enough to get by at work, you might have more freedom to reassess your priorities and values and maybe even take back some agency, says Dr. Strongin.

Still, it’s probably not sustainable or even risk-free. If your boss starts to notice you pulling back, there’s a chance you could be let go, sure. The mental health implications of an IDGAF attitude at your 9 to 5 aren’t great either, explains Dr. Strongin. “We have to be challenged in order to continue developing and growing. By consistently doing less than what we’re capable of, we send a message to our body and mind that challenge isn’t good.” That complacency can slide into other parts of our lives too, she adds.

So, if you’re thinking about pulling way back at work (or already started the process), these five Qs below can help you troubleshoot your situation and take action. You might have more options than you think.

1. Do you know why you want to quietly quit this job?

If you’re not clear on the root issue, you’re missing out on crucial information that can help you make positive changes, says Dr. Strongin. So ask yourself: What underlying problems are at play here? Maybe you feel a lack of purpose, community, or appreciation. Maybe you’re fed up with being overworked and underpaid. 

Whatever the problem, use that data to help you figure out next steps at work or on your own time, Dr. Strongin explains. 

You might find that a little internal work could make a huge difference. For example, Dr. Strongin says that one of her clients realized that his boss was triggering old wounds. The manager never validated him or gave positive feedback, which was similar to the way he was raised, she explains. “In therapy we learned to create an emotional barrier between him and his boss, and he was able to continue working there and enjoy the work.”

2. Have you talked to your boss?

If the biggest thing driving you to quiet quit is a problem with management or your work environment, it might be time to have a discussion with your boss. 

But, yeah, that’s so hard! Perhaps that’s why you were drawn to quiet quitting in the first place? Dr. Strongin says people who are more conflict-avoidant may be especially drawn to mildly ghosting their job since it enables them to continue working without having to confront their dissatisfactions. Yet, that strategy won’t solve the actual problem. Alas.

Here’s what you could do instead: Advocate for your needs by getting some time on your boss’s cal to have a conversation about your issues, frustrations, and worries. Then, work together to find a resolution. 

When you have that chat, be direct and clear about what’s not working. From there, you can offer up some solutions and ask your manager if they can help come up with other strategies that could make sense. 

That might sound like, “While I appreciate your feedback on my work, I often feel disheartened when I don’t receive positive encouragement in addition to constructive criticism. Is it possible for us to have regular check-ins where we discuss what’s going well in addition to what could be improved?” 

Approaching your manager in this direct yet respectful way can give you more agency, Dr. Strongin says. It might even be more satisfying than passive aggressively not giving a fuck. 

3. Could this affect your coworkers?

Unfortunately, putting your work pals in a position to pick up the slack as you disengage could alter those relationships, making your job even more uncomfortable. That’s definitely not ideal if these people have become your IRL friends or you care about them even a little bit. Who needs more work drama?

While you shouldn’t martyr yourself for the sake of your team, you can use them as a resource or sounding board for whatever you’re going through, says Dr. Horsham-Brathwaite. They can help you brainstorm solutions, finesse that conversation with management, or be there for you when you need to vent. They can even help you keep an eye out for a new job or provide a connection. 

In the end, you’ll likely benefit more from the social support your coworkers provide than an assist with the workload as you do the bare minimum, just sayin’.

4. Can you do less without giving up?

There’s a big difference between silently bailing on your job and setting boundaries that prioritize your emotional health. The latter looks more like building in breaks to fuel the time you’re at work—not doing the minimum to symbolically flip off your company (even if they deserve it).

For example, you could decline taking on projects outside of your job description while making the occasional exception when you’re feeling generous—exception is the key word here, BTW. Or maybe you stop working late while still performing at your highest-level when you are on the job. You could even try asking your boss about more WFH days per week. Whatever makes the most sense for you, Dr. Horsham-Brathwaite says the goal is to get enough space from your job to enable you to perform well when you’re there.

If your career has become your whole identity up to this point, better boundaries can also look like investing less emotional energy into your job. The problem with defining yourself by your office role or industry is that you miss out on exploring the other parts of who you are, especially if you spend all of your free time working or doing work-adjacent activities, says Dr. Horsham-Brathwaite. 

When you’re struggling to pull back, finding a therapist can help you suss out what a healthy relationship to work looks like for you, she adds. That can dramatically change how you feel during the workday. 

5. Can you actually quit right now?

If you’ve done all that and still feel like you could not give less effs about these responsibilities, it might be time to see yourself out and quit your job. “People naturally want to contribute [at work],” says Dr. Horsham-Brathwaite. “So if you’re going against that instinct, it leaves you kind of stuck.”  It’s also doing your mental health a disservice. Sometimes we’re just not that into the job or the job is not the right fit for us. Either way, it’s OK to leave and find something that motivates you to show up as your best self more often than not.