First things first: There’s nothing inherently harmful about watching porn, says sex therapist and certified alcohol and drug counselor Raquel VanLoon, LCPC, CSAT. For some people, it can be a healthy and normal part of how they explore their sexuality, she adds. But, like a lot of things that are fun in moderation, your relationship with porn can sometimes become problematic or even addictive. So if you stumbled upon this while looking up “porn addiction symptoms” with your own (or maybe your partner’s) behavior in mind, we’ve got answers for you.
Let’s get into what mental health experts think about porn addiction, how to know if it’s a problem for you, and where to go from there.
What is porn addiction?
Even though you’ve probably heard about porn addiction before, unlike addictions like substance use disorders, it’s not actually a diagnosable mental health condition listed in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5-TR). That said, if you feel as though you can’t not use porn even if it’s causing issues in your life, that’s when some mental health pros would consider it a behavioral addiction, says addiction psychologist Aaron Weiner, PhD.
While the psychological community in the U.S. doesn’t agree on whether porn addiction should be classified as a mental health disorder, the World Health Organization considers it a compulsive sexual behavior disorder. According to the International Classification of Diseases (ICD-11), this happens when someone shows “failure to control intense, repetitive sexual impulses or urges.” So there’s that!
Regardless of its official status, the mental health pros we talked to said porn addiction is a real struggle. In his experience working with clients, Dr. Weiner says that the shame people have about their compulsive porn use can tank their self-esteem, make them feel trapped, and result in them watching more porn to manage those feelings. It might also lead to anxiety and depression, says VanLoon.
What are porn addiction symptoms?
There isn’t an official list of symptoms for porn addiction, but if you’re wondering if someone’s porn consumption is problematic and impacting their mental health, here’s what experts and the World Health Organization say to look out for.
1. Porn is the only way you cope with life.
A big reason why some people become so invested in porn is because they’re using it as a way to cope with something they’re struggling with, says Dr. Weiner. Maybe they got into a fight with their partner or got a bad review at work, or maybe they’re trying to manage their depression. “Watching porn and masturbating can potentially provide escapism or create pleasure very quickly, so it’s easy to come back to it,” Dr. Weiner explains.
For a lot of people who experience porn addiction, porn is the sole coping skill they’re using to deal with big life issues or even small inconveniences, says VanLoon. Instead of calling a friend or going for a walk, they feel like porn is the only way they can get by and feel better, adds Dr. Weiner.
To be clear, it’s OK to sometimes cope by watching porn—just like it’s fine to pour yourself a glass of wine after a stressful day. But when it’s the only thing you do to deal, and you start to feel like you can’t function without it, then that’s an issue, says VanLoon.
2. It’s taking up your time.
There’s no benchmark for how many hours of porn per week qualifies as an addiction. But, in general, if you’re spending multiple hours a day and/or getting physically sore (if you’re masturbating at the same time), that could be a sign you’re overdoing it, says Dr. Weiner.
That time suck can often impact your day-to-day existence. Unlike someone who had a really rough day and just wants to kick back and watch porn, addiction happens when porn consistently dominates your mind and time, Dr. Weiner notes.
You might rely on porn so much that you ignore your responsibilities. You’d rather watch porn than eat, take your dog out, or be in a work meeting, for example, says VanLoon.
And we’re not just talking about one afternoon where you binge-watched porn instead of going outside. According to the ICD-11, compulsive sexual behavior disorder (see: porn addiction) lasts six months or longer. That said, Dr. Weiner has worked with clients who were addicted to porn after relying on it over the course of a few months. You might realize that porn is messing with your life and want to cut back, but you can’t, Dr. Weiner adds.
3. It’s not fun anymore.
For someone who is addicted to porn, feeling good isn’t really the main goal. Instead, watching porn becomes a way to relieve the negative tension that comes from not watching it, explains Dr. Weiner. Basically, it’s more about trying to not feel bad rather than trying to feel good, he says.
In fact, people who are struggling with porn addiction often keep engaging with it “even when the individual derives little or no satisfaction from it,” per the ICD-11.
4. You think about porn a lot.
When you’re addicted to porn, not only does it take up a lot of time, but it takes up a ton of mental real estate too. Your brain looks forward to porn since it’s become this thing you rely on to get a hit of dopamine and feel good, Dr. Weiner explains. You have urges to watch it, so you might be thinking about porn at times when you’d rather not—like daydreaming at work, Dr. Weiner says. Or you might be imagining porn just to escape what’s happening in the real world, notes VanLoon.
5. You watch porn at inappropriate times.
This may seem like an obvious one, but someone who is not having issues with porn would most likely stick to watching it in the privacy of their own home. One sign that you’re falling into addiction territory is if you’re using porn when it’s really not advisable to, like while you’re driving or at work, says Dr. Weiner. That can happen when you’re trying to get through the day but porn is all you’re thinking about, he explains.
6. You may not enjoy sex as much.
Someone who uses porn a ton may have a harder time enjoying their sex life for a number of reasons. One of the biggies: Porn addiction sometimes makes it difficult to stay present and connected with the person you’re physically with because you’re fantasizing about whatever you’ve been watching on-screen, says VanLoon. Also, if you used porn so much or stayed up using it, you might be too tired to enjoy the real thing, she adds. As you can imagine, this can take a toll on your romantic or sexual relationships.
7. If you stop using porn, you feel super uneasy.
When someone dependent on drugs or alcohol cuts them out of their life and gets sober, they can have physiological and mental symptoms of chemical withdrawal, like nausea, insomnia, and mood changes, according to the American Psychological Association. If you’re addicted to porn, you wouldn’t go through the same thing, but you still might be on edge, moody, and uncomfortable as you avoid acting on your urges, says Dr. Weiner. If you’ve done something over and over, you’re going to feel weird when your brain is asking for that thing and you’re not giving it what it wants, he says. That sucks, but with the right help, you can get through it.
How is porn addiction treated?
Therapy can help you cut down on your porn use, learn other coping mechanisms to deal with your urges, and manage your shameful thoughts around porn, says VanLoon. A therapist can also enable you to deal with any underlying mental health struggles you might be using porn to cope with, like depression or trauma, Dr. Weiner says.
When it comes to finding a mental health pro, look into therapists who have experience treating porn addiction or addiction in general. VanLoon also recommends a certified sex addiction therapist (CSAT) or a sex therapist (CST) because they can help normalize your sexual desires without shaming them. That’s extra helpful since people with this kind of addiction often feel like they can’t talk about something as stigmatizing as porn. So working with a therapist who has training in sexuality and desires can make them feel more understood. “You’re not wrong or bad or shameful for [watching porn]. Your desires are completely normal. It’s what you do with them and how you talk to yourself about them [that matters],” VanLoon says.
Outside of therapy, support groups like Porn Addicts Anonymous or Sex Addicts Anonymous can help too, says VanLoon. Building a healthy community during recovery is incredibly important because feeling alone in your struggles only makes things worse. Finding acceptance makes a big difference for people going through porn addiction, notes VanLoon.
The bottom line: If you feel like you have a problematic relationship with porn and you want to stop using it, there are people who can help.
Wondermind does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Any information published on this website or by this brand is not intended as a replacement for medical advice. Always consult a qualified health or mental health professional with any questions or concerns about your mental health.
