06.13.24
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Digital Disconnect: When Your Online and IRL Personas Meet
How to be your full authentic self—even offline.
Many of us feel like we can be a little bit bolder and braver online than we can be in our everyday lives. But, for some people, that chasm can make it difficult to be genuine with the people closest to them.
Born from this insight, leading tech company Lenovo developed a first-of-its-kind social experiment using smarter technology and AI to bring life to the entire online personas of two Gen Z individuals as lifelike avatars capable of having an unscripted, natural conversation.
The experiment facilitated impactful, heartfelt conversations between the participants, their family members, and the avatars with the goal of illustrating how smarter technology can support mental wellness.
Why it’s easier to be ourselves online
The internet and social media have made it easier than ever to find like-minded folks and validating spaces. So, it’s no wonder so many of us feel a greater sense of safety and connection online than we do in our everyday lives. According to research from Lenovo and SWNS, almost half (49%) of Gen Zs say it’s easier to express themselves online than offline, but 60% wish they could have difficult conversations with family and loved ones in real life.
“Online spaces have been a safety net for some people to freely be themselves and be open about who they are,” says Minaa B., LMSW, licensed therapist, social worker, writer, and founder of Minaa B. Consulting. “You're following people who are modeling for you what it looks like to exist in this identity without having to wear a mask.” And that can be refreshing if you don’t feel seen, heard, or accepted by the people in your immediate surroundings.
For many, compartmentalizing in this way is a safe and satisfying way to feel supported. That said, it can also hold you back from experiencing more meaningful connections in your day-to-day life.
“It's great to be able to find an online community where you can show up as you are and be your free self. But I often find these people are also wanting the same level of belonging and connection in real life,” says Minaa B. “If you are not letting people know who you truly are, it's possible you're always going to feel exiled from certain communities because you're not allowing the community to embrace the fullness of who you are.”
As part of Lenovo’s social experiment, one participant named Chinatsu was able to connect with her mother, Rie, in a new way. Rie was able to ask the avatar what inspires her, how her modeling career has evolved, and how they can have more open and honest conversations going forward, giving her a deeper understanding of Chinatsu’s online persona.
Lenovo made these conversations possible with a wide range of smarter technology, such as ThinkVision monitors, ThinCentre desktop PCs, ThinkBook laptops, moto razr+ devices, Lenovo’s DropCloud Storage, and more. These innovative Lenovo technologies and servers were behind the avatars’ ability to move, communicate, and function as a mirror of the participants’ online personas. Ultimately, the social experiment serves as an important reminder of the mental health issues impacting young people around the world and the ways that we can use technology more mindfully to bridge the gap between our online and offline worlds.
How to feel better showing up as your full self offline
Expressing yourself online might seem less intimidating because it’s easier to block, mute, or scroll away from unsupportive people and comments. In reality, it’s a lot harder to tune out that noise, but Minaa B. has a few tips that can help.
Seek out supportive spaces IRL. Look for groups and meet-ups that mimic the online spaces you feel safe in, suggests Minaa B. You could even ask your online connections for recommendations. Connecting with like-minded folks offline can help bridge the digital divide between your online world and your everyday life.
Practice acceptance. “You can't move through the world hoping that people are going to make space for you. You have to move through the world learning to make space for yourself,” says Minaa B. That starts with accepting that not everyone is going to like you, accept you, or agree with you, “but that doesn’t shift the foundation of who you are,” she says. Reminding yourself of your inherent self-worth is key.
Enforce your boundaries. While we can’t exactly mute or block people IRL, setting and maintaining boundaries is the next best thing. Boundaries are all about following through on a rule you’ve set for how you want to be treated. For instance, you might set a boundary that if someone continues to bring up a certain topic after you’ve asked them not to, you’ll leave the conversation. Remember that you are not powerless, and you get to decide how you’re going to react in situations that don’t feel supportive, says Minaa B.
When big emotions come up, have a plan. Expressing parts of yourself that you haven’t shown before can be scary, so it’s helpful to have some self-soothing strategies to turn to. Minaa B. suggests deep breathing, journaling, or audio journaling to release some tension. If you’re the type to get overheated when you feel anxious, it can help to drink something cold or run your hands under chilly water to help bring down your body temperature.
Reach out for help. Tapping into your support system—whether that involves a therapist, a friend, or an online ally—can help calm you down and remind you of your worth when things get hard. If you don’t have someone to talk to, consider reaching out to the Crisis Text Line by texting HOME to 741741 to chat with a live, trained crisis counselor on a secure platform.
Lenovo partnered with the Crisis Text Line (in the U.S.) to provide funding and technology to expand access to 24/7 mental health support.
You can also visit LenovoWFH.com to explore the role technology can play in supporting a healthy digital balance.
Wondermind does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Any information published on this website or by this brand is not intended as a replacement for medical advice. Always consult a qualified health or mental health professional with any questions or concerns about your mental health.
