12.11.24
12 Things to Keep in Mind When Everything Is on Fire
We asked therapists to share their best tips for coping through chaos.
If lately you’ve been feeling like the human equivalent of the “this is fine” meme, you’re not alone. Even the therapists we work with at Wondermind have noticed this common theme coming up in conversations: How do you keep going when the world around you feels like a dumpster fire? Since it doesn’t seem like we’ll be returning to “precedented times” anytime soon, how can we cope with the chaos?
In case you don’t have your own therapist to pose this question to, we asked 12 mental health professionals to weigh in with any wise words or coping skills that might help. Here’s what they had to say.
1. Prune your panic list.
“When you're feeling overwhelmed it can be helpful to ask if you will still care about this issue in two days, two months, or two years. This can help you realize which problems aren't really problems at all and prioritize the rest. If it's still something you'll care about in two years then start there and deprioritize everything else.” —Alo Johnston, LMFT, author of Am I Trans Enough?
2. Give yourself a good shake.
"When chaos surrounds you, take a moment to pause, find a space, and shake it out. Start by shaking your hands, arms, legs, or even your entire body—just like you’re shaking off water. After about a minute, stop and tune in to how your body feels. This simple yet powerful technique helps release pent-up nervous energy while activating your body’s natural relaxation response.” —Juan Romero-Gaddi, MD, board-certified psychiatrist
3. Acknowledge what’s out of your control.
“Just like we couldn't control the pandemic, we can't control the news and world around us. And if we focus on that, we can feel helpless, angry, and even worse. Instead, find things you can control—your reactions, how you show up for your community, your work—and spend your energy and emotions there. Getting things done and feeling effective, even for the smallest things, can help you find hope—and I have seen this outlook work over and over again in my patients and me! I highly recommend you try it!" —Jessi Gold, MD MS, Chief Wellness Officer of the University of Tennessee System and bestselling author of How Do You Feel?
4. Give radical acceptance a go.
“There are actionable steps you can take to manage the mental load that comes with uncertainty. Practicing radical acceptance is one sure way to cope with stress. It’s giving yourself permission to feel all your emotions without judgment while honoring your circumstances, especially when you can’t change them. Another practice would be to focus on healthy distractions, such as watching a TV show, reading a novel, co-regulating with friends, or engaging in movement to boost your mood. These practices can be used at any moment when you need a pick-me-up.” —Minaa B. LMSW, author of Owning Our Struggles and founder of I’m So Mature
5. Make small moves.
"When everything feels overwhelming, remember: You don’t have to solve everything at once. Focus on just the next smallest step—whether that’s taking a deep breath, getting up for a glass of water, or reaching out to someone you trust. Even small actions can help break the cycle of stress and create space for clarity. Be gentle with yourself—you’re doing the best you can right now, and that’s more than enough." —Sasha Hamdani, MD, psychiatrist, ADHD specialist, and author of Self-Care for People with ADHD
6. Focus just on your immediate surroundings.
“I tell my clients that when we’re feeling overwhelmed: It helps to make our world small whenever possible. Shutting down social media, turning off the news, and focusing on small, manageable tasks like doing the dishes, finishing a puzzle, or reading good fiction has a way of reminding us of the small, manageable tasks of life. The things we can actually control right now, when so many of the world’s problems feel out of our control.
Mr. Rogers once said: ‘When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me: Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.’ It makes sense to feel overwhelmed and stressed, but there are many people out there who are willing to help. Look to friends, family, therapists, religious leaders, public servants, or community organizers who are dedicated to helping others and finding solutions. By asking around a bit you’ll probably find you’re not alone and at least have others struggling alongside you.” —Ryan Howes, PhD, author of Mental Health Journal for Men
7. Lean on your community, your routines, and hope.
“The first thing I would tell someone is: You're not alone, and we will get through this together. Community is one of the most powerful forces we have to navigate stress, mental illness, and hopelessness, and it is beautiful to be vulnerable with each other and lean into supporting one another. With the amazing kids and families I work with (many of whom are racially minoritized and LGBTQ+) we have been discussing: What is your community? Or, if you feel as though you're alone, how do you find a community that uplifts you, resonates with you, and protects you? Who are your supports as we once again navigate these uncertain times?"
A few things I've been doing personally are limiting my time on social media (especially checking the news), going to yoga, meditating every morning, listening to my favorite K-pop songs as I go for long hour walks to process and reflect, going to weekly therapy, and taking my antidepressant every day. Time and again, I keep reminding myself to come back to hope and the magic I've seen in my friends, family, and the kids I work with being themselves. And how each time each of us is a bit more our authentic selves, we change the world.” —Chase T.M. Anderson, MD, assistant professor of clinical psychiatry, Division of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, University of California, San Francisco
8. Go back to the basics.
“When the world feels like it’s on fire, I encourage my clients (and myself) to focus on a few things. First, stress and chaos greatly impact our nervous systems. During these times, I encourage clients to find ways to physically and mentally ground with mindfulness and sensory exercises. I also protect time for movement, sleep, and nourishing foods. Second, chaos can make us feel out of control and helpless. This is when I ask clients to focus on tangible actions you can control in your life such as taking a walk, helping a neighbor, volunteering, reading a book, or snuggling with a pet. All of these actions benefit mental health. Finally, humans are designed for connection. During times of major stress, human connection can be a balm to remind us we are not alone, and though change can be slow, engaging with community can create a huge impact on our lives and the world.” —Jenny Tzu-Mei Wang, PhD, clinical psychologist, speaker, and author of Permission to Come Home
9. Remember what you’ve already been through.
“Think back to times in your life when you have faced adversity (loss of job, financial hardship, illness, a bad breakup, death of a family member or friend, natural disaster, etc.) and remember how you got through it. I often ask my patients to make a list. Remember how depressed and scared you were at the time, remember how difficult it was for you. Then remember how good it felt later, how you survived it. Rely on your past experiences of triumph to draw strength in this experience. Maybe that’s your superpower. You're much more buoyant than you think.” —John Tsilimparis, MFT, psychotherapist and author of Retrain Your Anxious Brain
10. Be more intentional about connection and gratitude.
“Find comfort in common humanity. No, this doesn’t mean accepting that we are all doomed! Instead, normalize that your feelings of overwhelm are valid and widely felt—and in a point of connection with others. Be selective (and intentional) about who you turn to for connection. Before calling a friend, think about the kind of support you’re in need of and whether they are the right person to turn to at that moment.
Also, practice gratitude—with and being the operative word. If we’re not careful with our language, gratitude can actually invalidate our feelings. You may think, I am so stressed, but I have a good job so I can’t complain, which sends the not-so subtle message that you shouldn’t feel a certain way. Instead, swap out the ‘but’ (I am so stressed, and I have a good job) to shift your focus while also validating the very real difficult feelings that show up.” —Miriam Kirmayer, PhD, clinical psychologist and friendship expert
11. Let yourself feel your feelings.
“When facing existential dread, it could be helpful to first, take a deep breath, and remind yourself of your safe spaces (or however you might name them), both physically and/or emotionally. For example, this could be your community, or a room in your home that feels comfortable and serene. Next, name a few of the emotions you are feeling. Are you feeling hopeless, powerless, anxious, etc.? If you are unsure, try using a feelings wheel or free writing to explore. This could ease some of the mental tension you might be experiencing by helping to expand your window of tolerance, and invite some clarity into what you might possibly want to do about the overwhelm.” —Nina Polyné, PsyD, licensed clinical psychologist
12. Finally, give yourself some grace—and some joy.
“It’s OK to pause and just be. Overwhelm doesn’t mean you’re failing; it’s a signal that you might need to give yourself grace and rest. One thing I encourage my clients to do is focus on what anchors you. Maybe that’s connecting with a loved one, journaling, movement/exercise, sitting in silence with reflection, or even stepping outside to connect with nature. You don’t have to solve everything right now—taking small, intentional steps can help bring you back to being grounded.
I also love to share this thought: ‘It’s OK to hold space for your emotions and still seek moments of joy, however small they may seem.’ In times of chaos, those little joys and mindful moments are not trivial—they are acts of resilience. Greatness starts with the mind.” —Thomas A. Vance, PhD, psychologist and founder of ClearMinds
Wondermind does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Any information published on this website or by this brand is not intended as a replacement for medical advice. Always consult a qualified health or mental health professional with any questions or concerns about your mental health.
