Q&A Link Copied 02.29.24

Amanda Diaz Reflects on Her Mental Health After Moving to the U.S.

"With refugees, there's already so much pressure to prove yourself." ByShannon Barbour

Photo Credit: Steven Simone

Most known for her fashion and beauty looks, content creator Amanda Diaz also takes advantage of her massive platform by connecting with her followers and sharing what’s going on—like, really—in her world. That includes talking about imposter syndrome, protecting her peace, and assimilating to American culture as a political refugee from Cuba. Not for nothing, but she was even invited to the White House to celebrate and uplift Latinas. And she has advocated for voting and women’s rights as well as immigration reform and the importance of mental health.   

“With what I do for a living, I'm in such a privileged position, and I think it's important to talk about mental health. I'm always here to give resources and share my experiences too,” she tells Wondermind. “I want [my followers] to start to realize it's OK to sit down and talk about how you're feeling.” 

Here, Diaz talks about going to therapy, mental health stigma and machismo culture, and her tried-and-true self-care practices. 

WM: How are you doing lately? 

Amanda Diaz: I'm doing pretty good right now. One thing I really struggle with is feeling overwhelmed. Right now there's moments where I feel like I'm putting a lot on my plate, but it's all about talking to my therapist and structuring my days. Little by little, I'm getting better at it and really understanding what my capacity is. I have my days where I get a little overwhelmed, and it gives me anxiety, but overall, I think I'm doing a pretty OK job managing it. That's where I'm at right now.

WM: Tell me about working with a therapist and adding structure to your life. 

AD: Talking to my therapist has been so instrumental when it comes to my day-to-day life and routine. Having that person you can talk to about it once a week [helps]. … I like to sit down once a week and really write down my schedule just so I visibly am aware of what I have to do that week. … Once I feel organized, I feel like I can tackle anything [because] I know what I have to do. It's in front of me, and I just plan accordingly.

WM: What inspired you to start therapy?

AD: I've been going to a therapist for three years, but not consecutively; I switched therapists twice. I'm someone that has a lot of anxiety, especially with what I do for a living. It's really nice to be able to go talk to someone that can really help you organize your brain. 

The way that I see therapy is a little bit [like] cleaning your house, and it cleans up all the clutter in your brain, and it's nice to do it once a week. It's just like how you deep clean your house. It's nice to talk to someone that's really going to understand how to make you feel better about situations, that can really help you problem-solve whatever is going on in your life.

I was having a really difficult moment with my mental health three years ago, and a friend mentioned, “I think you should talk to someone about this because I think it might be really helpful for you.” And I decided to do it. I had also just moved to Los Angeles. There were a lot of new obstacles in my life. I'm really grateful that I made the jump and I decided to start talking to someone because it really has helped me so much. I mean, there's such a huge difference when you do the work on yourself. The difference is night and day. 

WM: When you switched therapists, what was that transition like?

AD: I think I had a huge shift in my life where I realized I needed someone that was better equipped with a certain thing. I would say therapy's a little bit like dating where sometimes it's not the right fit. Sometimes you're at the end of the road with someone and you're like, “OK, thank you for getting me this far. I'm super grateful, but maybe I need something different right now in my life.” Or, “Maybe I'm ready to graduate and try something else or talk to someone that's better equipped with a certain [subject] or can give me a certain kind of therapy.” I don't think there's any shame in it, though. I think it's really healthy to do so.

WM: How else do you take care of your mental health on a regular basis?

AD: The first year I moved to Los Angeles, which was almost two years ago now, I did so much inner self-work, and I changed so many habits in my life. I said, “If I want to get better, if I want to feel better, I really have to work on this.”

I started seeing a therapist, and I made very little changes. I started to journal, which was so good for me. … It's nice to just write how I'm feeling out. I also am big on gratitude and writing down what I'm grateful for that day. It just helps shift your focus … [and] just changes your whole outlook throughout the day.

WM: Do you ever revisit your old journals? 

AD: Oh my god, of course. And, girl, I was going through it. There was just so much going on, and I think I was also a lot younger and there was this huge difference in maturity and just different things. When you do the work and you read it back, you're like, Wow. I can really see the growth, and it's beautiful. 

Also, now I give myself a lot more grace. I'm really hard on myself. I've always been this way. I hold myself to an impossible standard. It's OK to give yourself grace and patience and love and [give that] to other people. I think that's one of the biggest differences. I am a lot kinder to myself, and I'm OK with saying no when setting boundaries. 

WM: As a content creator, you’re very open with your followers. You even published an essay about your experience as a political refugee when you were a kid. Do you mind sharing how that experience might’ve impacted your mental health?

AD: Of course. I really felt like a fish out of water. It was so weird and difficult for me. I didn't speak any English. In Miami, I think it was a little bit different just because there were a lot of us in that situation, but I had never felt out of place before. I constantly felt like I needed to prove myself a lot more than my peers at school or in my personal life. Even with my cousins—all my cousins would talk to each other in English, and I wanted to speak English so bad, and I just didn't understand. 

And I felt like my parents had to work a lot harder. … My dad worked three jobs when we first moved to the U.S. My mom didn't speak any English and was getting mistreated at her job, just trying to make ends meet. It was a really hard few years for us at first.  My parents were so brave, and I really admire them so deeply for making the sacrifice. 

It's not easy to leave all you know and start fresh in a new country. It was such a huge adjustment. And it's always stayed with me, that I have to prove myself and work harder in order to get the same—if not less—recognition for whatever I'm doing.

WM: What stigmas or misconceptions do you think people still have when it comes to mental health or mental health and immigration? 

AD: I think in Latino communities, it's a stigma for us to not be the best when it comes to mental health. I think we're getting a lot better about it now, and people are becoming so much more aware of the importance of mental health. Growing up, my parents didn't really understand what mental health was. They were like, “You're not depressed. You're not.” And I think the difficulty would be that you internalize everything. 

And I have to say, with Cubans, I think men really do struggle as well. There's something called machismo, and in that culture, men don't cry. Men don't have emotions. You internalize everything. I’ve realized that a lot of men in my culture, Cuban and Latino culture, are forced to keep everything in and not release how they're feeling. They have a lot of trouble communicating because there's this pressure to always be the strong one. 

I think [mental health] should be normalized, and it's starting to be now. It's a really beautiful thing for them to be aware that it's OK to feel things. It's OK to talk about how we're feeling. … Sharing where you're at with your family, talking to a loved one or a friend, and then maybe even seeking more help in order to improve would be really helpful. 

With refugees, there's already so much pressure to prove yourself. There's so much pressure to work to do all these things. You're in a new country, and you don't really understand the language. [Mental health] maybe isn’t the first priority you would look at. It's unfortunate, obviously, because there's just so many other things [to deal with so] maybe the mental health aspect might have been overlooked. Even with my parents, they were really struggling with their mental health when we first moved here, and they have kids. … That was not on the top of the list. But I'm starting to notice that it's becoming more of a priority, and that's really special, and it's a good thing. We need to talk about it.

WM: When you're having a tough mental health day, what do you turn to?

AD: I love a hot bath, girl, and lighting a candle in my bathroom. I have these bath salts that I put in my water that relax your whole body; I think they have magnesium. That is my way to disconnect and relax and just take a second for myself. [Or] I'll put my phone away for a few hours, and I'll just read books. I love to read. … I feel like I'm exiting this world and hopping in another one. … I just got the bath tray to put your book on and read, so I love doing that. 

I also love listening to music and feeling whatever emotion I need to feel. If I need to put on a sad girl playlist and cry for 30 minutes, I'm going to do that. … To take that time is important, and I encourage everyone to do the same.

WM: If you could give yourself a pep talk right now, what would you say?

AD: Everything's going to be OK. You're going to get through this. Everything you want is going to come true. You're doing the work, and I'm really proud of you.

This interview has been edited and condensed for length and clarity.