Back in 2018, I went to Aruba in the middle of winter with my ~now-fiancé~ Chris. I got some sun, read a book, and spent much-needed cuddle time with my then-long-distance boyfriend. When I got back home to New Jersey, it hit me. This sinking, sad feeling of re-entering reality after vacation. I thought, Has this place always been freaking horrible?! Chris felt the same. He texted, “I just need to get through this period of depression real quick.” If you’ve ever felt similar post-vacay blues—post-vacation depression, if you will—you know how hard it is to shake.
Because vacation can serve as a nice escape from work stress, relationship problems, or just disgusting weather, coming back to that naturally sucks, says licensed psychologist Monica Johnson, PsyD.
Honestly, even if your life is pretty good, heading home after a stress-free and/or exciting trip can feel sort of like getting out of a hot tub, Dr. Johnson says. Everything seems cold and blah in comparison. Your place was cozy and great before you left, but now that you’re back, you’re suddenly aware you do not live in a resort surrounded by palm trees and the ocean. Those kinds of thoughts can impact your mood for the worse.
If you’ve got the coming-home-after-vacay blahs, there are a few things you can do right away to take the edge off. But if you’re concerned about just how sad you are or it feels like you can’t shake it for weeks (or both), definitely reach out to a mental health professional, says Dr. Johnson. They can help you figure out what’s going on, including if you might be dealing with clinical depression, she says.
But back to the stuff that might make life a little better right now. Below, we’ve got some easy ways to manage sad feels that pop up post vacation so you can stop spiraling over the letters P, T, and O.
Do a quick lil values audit.
It can feel extremely hard to get excited about going back to reality, but focusing on things you find important (those would be your values) can ultimately make you happier, says Dr. Johnson. ICYMI, your values can be something really broad like friendship or more specific like quality time with friends. It can also be a trait or a feeling like authenticity or generosity. (If you’re at a loss, check out this printable worksheet that lists values for you to reflect on.)
So, when you’re feeling shitty about not living in a five-star resort—which, same—make a list of the things that are most important to you. Then, think about how you can work more of them into your life, Dr. Johnson says.
Maybe one of those things is work-life balance, so you start setting a hard stop at 5 p.m. If it’s having enough money to go on more vacations (love this for you!), think about asking for a raise or picking up a side hustle.
Whatever you set out to do, don’t get discouraged. It can take time to start feeling fulfilled by aligning with your values, Dr. Johnson adds.
Pencil in things that bring you ~joy~.
This might sound like a no-brainer, but another way to make your post-vacation slump less slump-like is to look forward to something, says Dr. Johnson. “The vacation generated all of these rewarding, positive feelings, so it’s: How do I replicate some of that in a way that I can access on a consistent basis?” she says. This could be anything: A date night with yourself, a deep-tissue massage, a Harry Potter movie marathon…whatever screams joy to you.
If those activities are with other humans, that can help lift you up too, says Dr. Johnson. Cushion the blow of being back from vacay with a series of hangouts with your BFF, your chosen family, an acquaintance who always makes you laugh, even your pet who can’t talk but still gives you all the warm and fuzzy feelings, she says.
Put your vacay into perspective.
Reminiscing is a normal thing, but romanticizing how great those times were becomes a problem when your life feels like it’ll never be as good as it was on that epic trip, Dr. Johnson says. That idea can make you feel pretty hopeless because humans need to believe that there’s something to work toward in order to be happy, she explains.
That’s when reminding yourself that even though this vacation was wonderful, it probably wasn’t as perfect as you’re convincing yourself it was—and it’s not the last chance you’ll ever have to make cool memories.
If you catch yourself wallowing, keep things real by thinking about the not-so-great times or the parts of travel you kinda hate. Things like spending lots of money, fighting over who forgot the museum tickets, and flight delays were likely part of that reality too.
Plan for more consistent breaks when you can.
If you’re always living with a grind-culture mentality or saving all of your PTO for one big trip, the post-vacation blues can hit you hard. Obviously not everyone has a chunk of time and money to take vacations, but scheduling a few smaller trips or time off from your usual routine can prevent burnout and give you something to look forward to, says Dr. Johnson. It can also make the post-vacation period way less mentally dramatic.
Even if it’s a long weekend or staycations, block off a bunch of these breaks every year, Dr. Johnson suggests. If you’re the type of person who can take off on your birthday, do it, do it, do it! Hell, take one half-day every month if that’s more manageable for you. “There’s no such thing as a break that’s too small,” she notes.
Make self-care a normal part of your life.
Another way to avoid intense emotional turmoil after a vacation is to make sure that you’re replenishing yourself and finding time to feel good on the regular, says Dr. Johnson. If you’re only taking care of yourself during scheduled time off, coming home is bound to make you feel really bummed.
Whether you’re trying to recover from post-vacay depression right now or hoping to avoid it in the future, getting into a routine that works mental fitness into your day or week or month can help. Are you getting enough rest? Are you remembering to drink water between cold brews? Are you moving your body however/whenever you can? Are you actually relaxing? Working these tiny moments into your life can have major benefits that last long after that trip hits your grid.
Wondermind does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Any information published on this website or by this brand is not intended as a replacement for medical advice. Always consult a qualified health or mental health professional with any questions or concerns about your mental health.
