If you’re reading this right now (hi, welcome), chances are you know what it feels like to get trapped on an endless merry-go-round of negative thoughts. Maybe you missed a work deadline, got too honest with a friend, or experienced a trauma. Now, here you are thinking about it over and over—even though you would very much like to get off this ride right now, please.
This experience is called rumination, or your brain’s obsessive replay of something pretty damn distressing. While it can be obnoxious and all-consuming, ruminating is actually a pretty common experience. Even so, ruminating can kill your mood, wreck your sleep, and impact your ability to get through the day.
If you can relate, we spoke to mental health pros who explained more about what ruminating is, why it happens, and what to do about it.
What does ruminating mean?
Think of ruminating as your mind on a hamster wheel, constantly rehashing some stressful or worrisome moment, and—despite all this mental energy you’re spending on it—you’re getting absolutely nowhere. More specifically, ruminating is a kind of obsessional thinking where you have excessive or repetitive thoughts that get in the way of other mental processes, according to the American Psychological Association (APA).
What makes rumination different from anxiety thought spirals, catastrophizing, and worst-case-scenario thinking is that it centers on a real issue or a rational thought that you just can’t stop mulling over (like your partner did cheat on you or you did make a passive aggressive comment in that team meeting), explains clinical psychologist Alyssa Faro, PhD, director of clinical services for the OCD Institute for Children and Adolescents.
Here are a few other signs that you’re ruminating, according to Dr. Faro.
- The thing you can’t stop thinking about occurred in the past (it’s not a requirement, but it’s typical of rumination).
- That emotion, experience, or worry is negative.
- Thinking about it makes you feel worse but it’s hard to stop and distracts you from other important mental tasks or processes (like making your grocery list or getting a work assignment done).
While it makes sense that distressing situations, thoughts, or emotions take up significant mental real estate, dwelling on something all day every day without ever figuring out what to do next is what makes rumination so distracting and disruptive, explains therapist Aimee Estrin, LMSW, who specializes in anxiety, depression, and self-esteem issues. “Unlike problem-solving, which is goal-oriented, rumination is often circular and unproductive, leading to increased feelings of anxiety and depression.” It’s also a common feature of obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) and generalized anxiety disorder, per the APA, and it’s listed as a symptom of major depressive disorder in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5-TR).
Why does ruminating happen?
While it is associated with certain mental health conditions, you don’t need to have one of those to experience rumination. Literally anyone can ruminate.
Generally speaking, when the going gets tough, it’s easy—and common—for all of us to get stuck on the rumination train. Some of the most common triggers for ruminating are significant life changes (like a breakup), personal setbacks (getting laid off at work), or general stress (a parent getting sick), says Estrin. And, in her experience, the more you ruminate, the more you’ll continue to ruminate, notes Dr. Faro. It’s one of those vicious cycles.
Annoying as it is, ruminating is just one way your brain attempts to cope with a sucky situation. In a weird way, it can feel productive to think about a situation over and over again, explains Dr. Faro. Of course, as we said earlier, when you ruminate, you’re not actually solving a problem (like apologizing for the shade you threw to your colleague) or gaining clarity on why it happened. In fact, ruminating could be a way to avoid taking action (even if that avoidance is subconscious), she adds. The more time you devote to dwelling on this thing, the less time you have to do something about it.
How to stop ruminating
Catching yourself on this endless loop is the first step, here’s what to do next.
1. Do something (anything) else.
Rumination takes a lot of focus, so one way to snap out of it is to engage in an activity that requires even more concentration, suggests Dr. Faro. Pretty much anything goes here. Call a friend to talk about the latest episode of Bridgerton, knit, play tug-of-war with your ever-enthusiastic dog, do a crossword puzzle, play a video game, attempt to bake sourdough. Literally anything is fair game, as long as it helps you get present and focus on something outside your brain.
2. Breathe (like this).
To squash the round-and-round thinking without moving an inch, try some breathwork, suggests Estrin. Her method of choice:
- Inhale slowly for a count of four, feeling your abdomen expand.
- Hold your breath at the top for a count of four.
- Exhale slowly through your mouth for a count of six, feeling your abdomen contract.
- Repeat for five to 10 minutes, and return your focus to your breath as needed afterward (you don’t have to do another full five minutes).
3. Feel into your senses.
Another way to shift your focus is using your body to ground into the present moment, says Estrin. Here’s how:
- Look around and identify five things you can see. Notice the details, including colors, shapes, and textures.
- Find four things you can touch. Focus on the texture and feel of each item, describing the sensations in your mind.
- Listen for three sounds. It might be the hum of the air conditioner, birds chirping, or distant traffic. Pay attention to their pitches and rhythm.
- Identify two things you can smell. This might be the scent of your coffee, fresh flowers, or your co-workers lunch.
- Focus on one thing you can taste. It could be a sip of water, a mint, or the lingering taste in your mouth. Describe it to yourself.
4. Enlist endorphins.
Assuming you’re not lying in bed trying to sleep (but also, maybe even if you are), a little exercise can redirect your focus and boost your mood when you’re thought-spiraling. Endorphins FTW! Estrin recommends running, swimming, yoga, or a walk outside to clear your head—but a Beyoncé dance party could definitely check this box too.
5. Know your rumination triggers.
The best way to prevent rumination from happening in the first place is to make a list of when it normally hits, says Dr. Faro. From there, you can switch up your routine to keep your mind quiet. For example, if bedtime typically involves roasting yourself for an hour before finally falling asleep, try listening to a guided sleep meditation (or anything that distracts you) as soon as you lay down. If ruminating the morning after a night out with friends feels unavoidable, book an a.m. workout or pick out a movie to take your mind off the usual regret fest in your brain.
6. Find some help.
If ruminating holds you back from living your best life, makes you feel depressed, or seems like it might be a symptom of an undiagnosed mental health condition, consider finding a mental health pro. They can diagnose any underlying issue and help you learn coping skills to deal with rumination when it strikes—and hopefully prevent it from happening in the first place.
Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is one modality therapists often use to help clients dealing with this specific issue. With this kind of therapy, you’ll focus on how to challenge negative thought patterns and develop healthier ones. Through this process, Estrin explains, you’ll work to recognize negative thoughts that throw you off, question how legit they are, create more balanced thoughts to replace them, and monitor how those swaps impact your mood and daily life. Over time, those rumination spirals should become less and less frequent.
Wondermind does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Any information published on this website or by this brand is not intended as a replacement for medical advice. Always consult a qualified health or mental health professional with any questions or concerns about your mental health.
